Considering that I am a very outgoing person, there's something I've kept somewhat private. I haven't ever blogged about this topic before, but it's something that I want to be open and honest about. I'm a strong believer in prayer, and feel that it's important to share life with the people around you. I know that when I share my trials, and burdens, people can life me up and encourage me. That's what I'm starving for...some encouragement!
Since April, John and I have had three miscarriages. Each of them have been very difficult, but this last one, just two weeks ago, has been the most difficult for a few reasons. My levels were high, and progressing, and my first ultrasound even looked good. When I went in for a second one, the sac had collapsed, and there was no heartbeat. I had a D and C a few days later. The day of the procedure, and days to follow, I was fine. I think I was in denial, and still am to a certain degree that I lost yet another pregnancy.
What seems to make everything harder is the numerous people around me who are either pregnant, or have newborns. I feel like there are days, and weeks that go by when I don't give it a thought, and I do really well in keeping am positive spirit and attitude. And then all of a sudden, I'll go through a 'rough patch'- hence the title of today's blog, and I'll get depressed and discouraged.
I know what a lot of people say- we're young, this is common, blah blah blah! I think in a lot of ways, moving to WV will be helpful in this area because I'll have some time off work which will be less stress in my life.
This has been something that's been really hard for John and I. We've prayed about this so much, and have given it to God, knowing that his will is better than ours. We know that someday, we will celebrate with our family and friends. We know that God will bless us with a healthy, beautiful baby. I also know that God will use this situation, and season of waiting and trusting Him to create something beautiful. Please keep us in your thoughts, and prayers over the next few months.
3 comments:
Thanks for sharing, Leah. I know this has been so hard and I can't even imagine what you're going through, especially with this last pregnancy. I think you'll enjoy some time off from work, and moving to a new, beautiful place. I pray it's a refreshing time for you!
Oh my gosh! My dear one, I had no idea. My heart breaks reading your post. I am so so sorry you have had to go through this. Don't let any one tell you that your age negates the fact that you have lost three of your dear babies. They are yours and nothing changes that. I can't imagine someone telling a mother of a toddler who died its okay because she can still have another one. My Adam and Charis are very precious to me despite that they weren't with me long. Since April? I am crying as I think I would do anything to take take this pain for you. You are completely in my prayers.
I am so sorry for you losses. I did know about one miscarriage, but not the others. It is heartbreaking and sometimes people say the wrong thing and you feel worse.
Again, I am sorry for you loss. I hope you get some much deserved rest after your move. I will be thinking and praying for you.
Karen
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