This blog post is a little heavy. Sorry.
At my Bible study yesterday, the leader said (which I totally agree with) that she sees a lot of mothers these days who have been robbed of joy. She's made an observation that it's a more recent thing (as in our generation) that mother's are experiencing. She said there were obviously ups and downs when her generation (she's in her 50s) was raising their kids, but nothing like today's generation of mothers. I have experienced it myself. Not all the time- but for sure here and there throughout the last 19 months of being a mom.
* You can be having an awesome day, and then poof- your child doesn't hit a milestone like a friend's child and you feel like a bad mom for some reason.
* Someone can make a judgemental comment about how you are/aren't parenting and all of a sudden you're questioning yourself.
* You feel content, and happy, and then you log into Facebook and see that your friends have a prettier, cleaner, shinier, less chaotic life than you- poof...you're knocked down.
I definitely wouldn't say this is how I feel most of the time, but once in a while these negative thoughts do enter my mind, and I couldn't agree more with my Bible study leader- something is robbing our joy, bringing us down and the kids notice...they do! I'm not sure if it's because of social media, or because everything is so public and easily criticized/dissected, but we are so competitive (even if you don't think you are) with each other. It was the general consensus at the table yesterday that we are selfish. Ouch! It hurts to even type that word. But it's so true. Our homework for next week is to come with a list of things that rob us of joy (in motherhood, marriage, or life in general), and I've already been making a mental list.
If you feel comfortable, tell me something that robs you of joy in your life.
3 comments:
Sometimes my mom can rob me of my joy and she doesn't even realize it! It still matters to me what she thinks about what I wear. I have had 2 formal occasions recently where she was present and did not say a thing about what I was wearing or how I had fixed my hair and make up. It really hurt my feelings and almost put me in a mood until I realized that was not the most important thing happening and focused instead on the occasion. I have not talked to her about this because I think I am not going to like what she has to say. I should be over this at this point in my life!
Leah- thank you so much for writing this! So often I can be reading your blog and I think to myself...my thoughts exactly! The biggest thing I struggle with is being jealous of what other people have (a bigger house/car/whatever) and I have to really take a step back and think about the sacrifices they may be making to have that lifestyle, or just that they are in a different place in life then I am at that momement. I struggle with that, and then I feel so guilty because it's then that I realize how incredibly lucky I am to have a wonderfully supportive and loving husband, a beautiful and healthy son, and a house to call my own, and I certainly wouldn't want anyone to think I took those things for granted or that I wasn't grateful for what He has given me. Instead of worrying about what others have, or what I don't have..I should be spending that extra energy on raising my son! Thanks for always sharing your thoughts! It helps to know that I'm not the only one who struggles with those feelings!
What robs my joy? Days when I feel like I don't know what I'm doing! Even with five kids and twenty years of experience, some days NOTHING goes right. It's hard for me to let that go and just move on with my day.
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