The good, the bad, and the...

Since becoming a mother 2.5 years ago, I've learned a lot about myself. I've seen my strengths, but mostly my weaknesses at work. I wish I could say I was a perfect mom, I'd even settle for a mostly perfect mom, but I am far from that!

There are many days that I feel as though all I've done is double as a milking cow, wipe butts, and keep two little girls alive. Ok, the last one was a little dramatic, but it's true some days! I miss the days when I was just responsible for myself. What I would give to run errands on my OWN schedule without a screaming baby in the back, and a toddler who may or may not pee her panties in the middle of Target if I forget to rush her to the potty before we leave.

THE GOOD: I try my hardest to soak up sweet moments with my girls, and enjoy the day-to-day tasks. I love looking at them and think that their 'mine'! I get to enjoy watching them learn and grow each day instead of someone else doing the feeding, changing, and teaching! Being a stay at home mommy is a blessing, and I am so thankful for this time!

THE BAD: I get really impatient with them (especially Avery) when they act their age. How dare Lucy cry for no reason, and what is Avery thinking throwing a fit when she doesn't get her way?! (insert sarcasm) I snap easily some days, and don't show them how deeply I love them.

THE...: I have moments of 'What the +^%$# was I thinking having children??!!' I feel so incredibly inept, and the furthest thing from capable some days. I 'look' (aka read fb statuses that may or may not be an accurate portrayal of their lives...) at other mothers who seems to have it all together (and they have more kids than I do!), and wish I could have 1/18 the composure they do. I don't recognize my blessings on these days, and instead I play the victim. It's ugly.

I shared this with my small group the other night, and people were so encouraging! Everyone has 'suck' in their life, but thankfully we have a God who is SO SO SO SO SO much bigger than these pesky problems we face on Earth. Amen for that! Today I am going to live in His grace, because apart from that...well, my everyday would be THE BAD and THE ... moments.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

~ 2 Corinthians 12:9